I decided not to live blog the VMA’s mostly because I Tivo’d them and my reporting wouldn’t have actually been live anyway. But I’m going to give you a play by play of what I was thinking as I watched:
I loved Russell Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. He was the funniest part of the movie. He’ll make a good host for the VMA’s. The promos he did were kinda funny. Maybe he’ll be even funnier live.
Wow…the venue looks cheap and really small.
Ooohh…”Disturbia”…I love that song. Rihanna’s whole album is really great. This looks creepy and awesome and this is gonna be a cool performance.
Oh man, Rihanna is not a dynamic live performer. She needs that uber-modulation that they do to her voice in the studio and she’s lacking energy. I think she took some of whatever Britney took last year.
Why is Russell Brand obsessed with the Jonas Brothers? What did they ever do to him? So they’re saving themselves for Jesus, who cares? It’s a nice change of pace from the message most people (I’m talking to you, Pussycat Dolls) are sending to our youth.
Why can I see tech people all over the place?? Aren’t they supposed to be behind the scenes making the magic happen? I don’t want to see them. Make them go away! Is this intentional?
Jamie Foxx doesn’t know when to read his lines and Demi Moore (whose only connection to MTV is Ashton Kutcher as far as I can tell) doesn’t have a mic. This does not seem intentional.
Why is this woman talking over Katy Perry’s much hyped tribute to “Like A Virgin”? I can’t hear her…all I see is her peeling that glittery banana strap down. Wait…they totally cut to a commercial in the middle of the chorus!! WTF, MTV? Hopefully, this will be the only WTF moment of the evening.
Li’l Wayne is flashing gang signs. He’s wearing a red bandana in his right back pocket, which my husband assures me is a symbol of the Bloods. I think Li’l Wayne is a repulsive human being for many reasons, not the least of which is his physical appearance…and the fact that everyone in the music world seems to love him. I think I’m gonna put a hit out on Li’l Wayne. I am, after all, a supporter of the Crips.
The award for best dancing in a video…surely that will go to Chris Brown. Of course, I do like that Madonna/Justin Timberlake video. THE PUSSYCAT DOLLS?? WTF?? Why do people keep shoving these untalented WHORES down my throat? And I’m not talking about whores like I say that because I hate them…I truly believe that these “women” have sex for money. I need them to never be heard from again. Pretty please?? I’d rather watch Li’l Wayne do an encore.
Russell Brand is still not funny.
WTF is Twilight and who are these people?
The theme of the evening is “nothing is as it seems”? Really…there’s a theme? No way…this was thought out in advance? Someone designed this? And someone’s actually directing it? Unreal.
A shameless plug for Rockband 2. Ugh.
Uh oh…I think I just saw Pink’s nipple. Let me rewind…nope. Damn. A near wardrobe malfunction.
Aha! I did see it that time…it’s all silver and shiny and rectangular. Oh wait, Ethan says that’s just tape covering her nipple. Damn again.
DAMN IT ALL TO HELL…Li’l Wayne actually won…some award…Hip Hop maybe? Against all those people who I assume are better than he is? I would like to thank him for keeping his thank yous brief though. Ok, I’m cancelling the hit. He can live.
Rihanna again…and she’s singing that Swedish song that dude on You Tube made famous. Weird…but kind of awesome.
She keeps holding her jacket together. Another near wardrobe malfunction.
Who the hell is Tokio Hotel and why does their lead singer look like a lion? She is pretty though.
YAY! Britney won her third Moonman! She deserves it. Who doesn’t love Britney for one reason or another?
Kanye West’s performance is the best of the night. Wait…doesn’t he hate MTV? I’m glad he doesn’t hold a grudge.
In summation, the evening was a clusterfuck. It looked cheap and there were no truly memorable moments that people will be talking about. Russell Brand was relentless in his taunting of the Jonas Brothers and as much as I don’t think children should be allowed into the VMA’s, it was a little unfair. When did the VMA’s become Disneyfied anyway? The Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus AND High School Musical?? Seriously?? That shit has a time and a place, certainly…and it is NOT at the VMA’s. I do think they did a decent job of utilizing the Paramount backlot – man, they should do Halloween Horror Nights there…screw Universal…this place is way better – but, it still looked very haphazard. The pre-show was good. Tivo cut off the post show (I’m sure the party was AWESOME and the highlight of most people’s evening). 
The VMA’s definitely need a shakeup. For a network that rarely plays videos anymore, it’s kind of a joke to award them. We all know that we are awarding the songs and not the videos anyway and that the whole show is a popularity contest. But this was the 25th anniversary and they did NOTHING to celebrate that. No throwback to the 80’s, no mention of who won these awards 25 years ago…maybe because most of those people are selling real estate now. I don’t know. MTV, I know you want to believe that you’re still relevent. You’re not. Try harder.
I promise I will live blog the Scream Awards if anyone’s interested. Spike knows how to put on a show! Bring on the half naked ladies!
Forget the hit . . . somebody just needs to buy the guy a belt.
Hilarious.
Comment by Jacob — September 22, 2008 @ 3:46 pm |